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Wear Your Seat Belt!


The automobile auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified as "running" or "no start". One of the no-starters was on the block. It had a shattered windshield, two missing tires, a sagging front bumper, a cockeyed grille, the hood sprung up at an angle and dings and dents everywhere.

Before he started the bidding, the auctioneer announced the car's year, make and model, then read these comments from the owner: "Please note, the radio does not work."



 
 

Trying Her Patience

A teacher was helping a kindergarten student who was struggling to get his boots on. Pulling and pushing, the teacher finally got both boots on when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked and, sure enough, they were. Struggling again, the teacher pulled the boots off and put them back on the correct feet. Then the little boy said, "These aren't my boots."

Sighing, the teacher once again pulled of the ill-fitting boots. That's when the little boy explained, "These are my brother's boots. My mother made me wear them."

Not knowing if she should laugh or cry, the teacher tugged the boots back on the boy's feet a third time.

With the boots finally on, the teacher asked the boy where his mittens were. "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots."

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